Accept and Connect, Be Humble, Listen and Walk with Love: Live a Wholehearted Life

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The Five Steps to Living a Wholehearted Life

Please do your best to take  yourself more light heartedly. The Five Steps to Living a Wholehearted Life are meant to be clear and direct, while offering a simple path toward creating a life of empowerment and accountability. Reach out and connect, accept and be humble. This journey can be an incredibly rich experience of building a wholehearted life that feeds your soul and develops an open and vulnerable heart that doesn’t fear intimacy, but embraces it!

The first list of steps below is edited, and for some, more easily digestible.

1) Okay, it’s time to admit it: I am just another Bozo on the bus. It’s time to wake up and realize that you are not special, entitled, or different. Please leave your righteousness and arrogance at the door. Start being humble so that the people who have put up with your shenanigans can see it worth their time. Accept and Connect!

2) How did I become so disconnected in the first place? How has your bias, prejudice, and victim stance caused so much fear and pain? Find a person or persons that you can be honest and vulnerable with. Someone who will give honest objective feedback, someone who will be completely honest with you, and not sign off on your denial. Take the time to explore your beliefs, bias, and victim stance.

3) Stop talking. Stop assuming. Start listening. Reflect back on what you heard the other person say, to make sure you understand what they were saying. Stop thinking you have all the answers; you don’t. To have made it this point in life, you will have developed blind spots. If you want to discover your blind spots, listen to the feedback from the universe. When you need to: advocate for yourself, be assertive, share what you are feeling.  Feelings are fairly difficult to argue with.

4) I am the author of my personal story, my narrative. Good news, you wrote it, now you can change it to a story that embraces a wholehearted life. What will your life look like when you’re being open, honest, vulnerable, tolerant, compassionate, accountable, and empathic? Also, be a competent and adaptable editor, one who is able to revise your narrative as needed.

5) Show up, Show up, Show up. Create connection, take risks, be vulnerable, look for commonality, and embrace diversity. Hey, let’s grab coffee sometime! Learn the different languages of love and connection. Nothing will change as long as you keep doing the same thing over and over again.

And now for the unedited version: Warning, some language may not be suited the faint of heart. Okay, let’s be honest. This is the real version of the Five Steps to Living a Wholehearted Life. Playing nice can easily become placating, and there is no need to do that when we are talking about being honest and making serious life changes. So here we go! Let be honest, adaptable and get the hell out of the cage we built!

1) Okay, it time to admit it: I am just another Bozo on the bus. Wake up and stop thinking your so special, entitled, and different. Leave the righteousness and arrogance at the door (and by the door I mean everywhere you go). Start being humble so that the people who have put up with your bullshit can see it wasn’t all a big waste of time. Stop criticizing and judging everybody else’s clown suit, for yours has become an obvious cry for attention. Accept and Connect! For Goodness Sake, Keep it Simple, do not over analyze your place amongst the rocks, plants, and animals. Accept and Connect!

2) How the hell did I get so disconnected in the first place? How have my bias, prejudice, and victim stance caused me so much fear and pain? Find a person or people that you can be honest and vulnerable with.  This person should be willing to give honest objective feedback, should NOT kiss your ass, should not enable your Victim Stance, and should NOT sign off on your bullshit! Take the time to honestly explore your beliefs, bias, and victim stance. Walk, roll or run into nature for at least 30 minutes every day, even if that means talking with a tree planted between the sidewalk and the street. Trust me, they have seen more shit go down than you and they’re not still standing there complaining about it.

3) Stop talking. Stop assuming. Start listening. Shut the hell up for a minute already! Listen to others, reflect back upon what you heard to make sure you understood what the hell the other person is saying. Stop thinking you have all of the answers, you don’t! The truth is you have a shit load of blind spots. If you want to discover your blind spots, you had better stop the tunnel vision with your own bullshit and start listening to the feedback from the universe.  When you need to, advocate for yourself, be assertive, share what you are feeling. Remeber, feelings are very difficult to argue with, as they are simply feelings. There are not wrong feelings.

4) I am the author of my personal story, my narrative. Be Accountable! Good news, you wrote it, now you can rewrite it.  Compose a narrative which embraces a wholehearted life. Describe what your life will look like when you are living an open, honest, vulnerable, tolerant, compassionate, accountable, and empathic life. Also, be a competent and adaptable editor that is able revise your narrative as needed. This is a life process, it doesn’t end until it’s over. And, hopefully you have some profound story about what that looks like, and hopefully you are also willing to be wrong about your story. After all, it’s only a story… even if it’s your story. If this confuses you go back to step one.

5) Show up, Show up, Show up. Create connection, take risks, be vulnerable, look for commonality, and embrace diversity. Hey, let’s grab coffee sometime! Learn the language of love, compassion, and acceptance.  Nothing will change as long as you keep doing the same thing over and over again. The whole thing about 90% of life is showing up — well that’s true. So, get over yourself and show up. And while you’re there, or here, listen to others. Really! Stop trying to figure out what you want to say while others are talking. Because when you stop thinking and planning, you can actually start listening. Happiness and contentment come from showing up and being a good listener. And, being a good listener is being able to know the difference between reality and someone else’s bullshit. Of course, this also means that you are willing to show up and be honest about your own bullshit too!

When we show up, we have opportunities before us that did not exist when we choose not to show up. It really is as simple as it sounds. We struggle with believing in the simplicity of life. We think there must be something more to it, right? Do not over analyze and keep it simple. If the goal is to live a wholehearted life, than learning to see people with your whole heart is important. When I see someone with my whole heart; my bias, prejudice, and discriminatory lens are removed. I become a compassionate, inclusive and accepting human being, capable of finding connection and belonging with others.

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