What another person decides to say or do it is not personal, it is not about us. We want to think the target is personal but it is not. It is about them. In the moment of abuse, violence or conflict it is difficult to understand this. I heard of another mass shooting at a school, and again I was brought to tears. My heart hurt for the students, the families and the community. And then there is the perpetual … Continue readingHurt People, Hurt People
Recovering the Seed: Here is the audio book version of Chapter 5. In this chapter the listening will learn the dynamics of why and how we people choose a partner, and how we teach our partner how to treat us. This chapters explores the concepts of enabling, dependency and codependency in relationships of all kinds. Most importantly that happiness and contentment are an inside job, and no person, place or thing can ultimately make you happy if you are not … Continue readingThe Fixer and the Saboteur
Shame & Addiction: Here is chapter 4 from the audio book version of Recovering the Seed. In this chapter the listener will learn about the differences between guilt and shame. How shame is a precursor to addiction. How shame fuels the creation of toxic fear based beliefs. Also, the listener will come to understand how vulnerability is a sign of courage. Being vulnerable will help transform shame through learning the practice of acceptance and forgiveness.
I believe that there is much to learn about our attitudes, joy, and happiness when we examine our beliefs about love. There are many different stories, so many narratives about what love is, or could be, or even should be. This is because love is a mystery that people have been trying to unlock for a millennium. Love seems to be more of a spectrum, with romantic love on one side and selfless love on the other. Romantic love is … Continue readingFinding Wholehearted Love
Here is the first chapter of Recovering the Seed in Audio Book format. In this opening chapter the reader will explore the concepts of addiction, obsessive and compulsive behaviors, and the addictive attachment to beliefs, such as: theological or political ideology, personal narratives and stories. Also, the reader is invited to explore the relationship between how addiction and healthy human connection are completing forces, and how we as humans have a need to bond to something, whether it be to … Continue readingHow We Got Here.
It always comes down to choice even if a person does not believe there are choices or all the choices seems painful. A person struggling with addiction will often choose the least painful option, which may well be continuing to use their Drug or Behavior of Choice. Some people feel the choice to stop using is not really a choice at all. But if that were true, then all those people that abuse or become dependent on drugs or alcohol … Continue readingThe Interesting Conundrum About Choice.
Through my years of personal experience working with drug abusing and dependent people, humans will find a way to get their candy, no matter what form it comes in. For a millennium it has been shown that attempting to control and prevent people from obtaining drugs is pointless and impossible. People will always find a way. Prohibition does not work and has been shown to be far more costly and dehumanizing than practical holistic alternatives. The systems that promote institutionalization … Continue readingRecovery the Seed: It’s time to look at and treat addiction differently